Since Wyatt was born and the birth and breastfeeding experience that I had with him, I feel a light bulb turned on inside of me. After years of wanting a natural birth and wanting to experience everything I've heard about it, I finally got it with Wyatt. Though I was induced by pitocin, I worked hard throughout the day to stay away from narcotics and epidural. And though after my water broke, I seriously doubted myself and thought there was NO WAY I could do this and begged for an epidural, 30 minutes later my son was coming out all on his own and it was like a force inside of me was just doing it all for me. Later I'd realize that that "force" I felt was me. My body got a natural rush of oxytocin and did everything it was meant to do. What it was designed to do all along. There was no stopping what was happening. The nurses tried to get me to hold back because they weren't ready at all and the doctor was still on his way. It was so natural and ready or not, he was coming!! There was no one telling me when or how hard to push my son out. I was just doing it as I felt it. And in 3 big pushes, he was out. Instinctively, I reached down to grab my son as I gave him one last push. No one told me or anything, I just knew it was time and I grabbed for him. It was almost animalistic. If I wasn't laying in a hospital bed, I'd swear I was out in the woods somewhere giving birth all on my own because I was just doing it (and had I been in the woods, I know now that I COULD do it).
I know everyone who has a natural birth says the same thing, but this experience gave me THE MOST empowering feeling I've ever felt in my life. It's sort of like beating on your chest, "I am woman, hear me roar!" kind of feeling. If I can do this, I can do anything. And God help anyone who tries to stand in my way because after this, I'm GOING TO do whatever it is I want to do because I CAN. And then after a bit of a struggle with nursing Wyatt in the beginning and the help I got with his latch from one amazing lactation consultant at the hospital along with Sabrina's help and encouragement as my peer counselor, I successfully breastfed him until he was 10 months old (and only stopped because of becoming pregnant and getting some pretty insane nipple soreness just from being pregnant as well as Wyatt sort of losing interest because the taste can change to sort of salty which they don't like). This experience made me realize my calling. I knew after all of this that no matter what it took, I needed to find a way to one day help women have the same amazing, beautiful, empowering experience that I had with natural birth as well as breastfeeding. My dream is to one day become a lactation consultant myself as well as a birth doula. There's not a thing in the world that would make me happier in life than to achieve this dream.
But how would I get there? Well as some of you may know, I tried to get a job with the WIC department as a peer counselor. After MONTHS of keeping in contact with the director and a few interviews, they went with someone else (and only because she was breastfeeding TWO children which means nothing). I was devastated. After I dried my tears (for the most part) I called up Sabrina. She was my peer counselor while I nursed both Carter and Wyatt. I also knew she was a doula. I don't know what compelled me to call her since we didn't really have a personal relationship other than her help with my breastfeeding but I knew that she was doing everything that I wanted to do in life and I needed help and I needed to know how else I could make this happen. I told her everything that happened with WIC and how upset I was (and then of course broke down crying again). She comforted me and reassured me that my dreams were NOT over. That this was a bump in the road and that on her journey to achieve her dreams, she had door after door slammed in her face but she kept going. As it turns out, if I would've told Sabrina I was interested, she could've helped me get the job and would've given me a great reference. Unfortunately, even after she called to talk to the director, it was too late because they had already hired the new girl.
But Sabrina assured me it wasn't over. She was willing to give me help along this path because she knew it was hard to find the resources you needed to complete the training and licensing for these things. Basically, she would be my mentor. I felt SO thankful! I couldn't believe someone would take me under their wing like this! And though it took a while because we both got a little busy and caught up with life in general (and then I got pregnant which I was sure would be a deal breaker and she'd tell me I had to wait until I had the baby but she didn't and there's still so much I can do in the meantime!), we finally got together this past week to begin a plan of action. She gave me a big book of hers to help my training, a place where I can begin to get some training online (that she may even try to help fund for me as my mentor, WOW!), and she's having me start calling her doula and placenta encapsulation moms postpartum to help them with any breastfeeding questions they may have. So while she helps me get my training, I'm helping take a little bit off of her and helping her grow her business. It's a win-win for both of us. She's going to start training towards midwifery soon and her dream is to have her own practice and I hope to one day be able to assist her and maybe be a doula working within her practice that she can recommend to her moms and I can work along side her. I know everyone always says everything happens for a reason, but I never really felt that until now. Now Sabrina has the freedom to train me the way she sees fit and mold me to work with her the way she works. Maybe if I had gone through WIC, I wouldn't have had that same outcome or wouldn't have such freedom to work with her the way I can now.
Tonight I made my first call to a mom who just had her baby on Friday. I was SO nervous and about to throw up in my mouth but I made it through. I got an answering machine but hey, it was still practice! Afterwards I was so pumped to call anyone and everyone I could help but not quite time for that yet (in due time, young grasshopper). I should be making more calls this week and introducing myself to more and more moms that she works with in her business and getting more and more experience which I'll need to one day be certified anyway. Sabrina also added me to her website under her "birthing services" and put a photo of me with the boys up and a little blub about me (she will soon add my bio that I wrote, as well). I felt so proud to see myself on her website. It was just another moment of excitement to add to how thrilled I am to be working toward the true career of my dreams. I may have had a lot of thoughts about what I wanted to do with my life. I may have even attempted to do something I thought I wanted to do and realized that while it was interesting to me, it wasn't my true passion. I know that this is my calling. I know that I am meant to do this. And regardless of all the bumps in the road or doors I may have slammed in my face or people that try to knock me down or stand in my way along my path, I know that I have to get through and make this happen. I guess this feeling and desire I have to do this it's almost as natural as childbirth - the way it was truly meant to be all along. ;)
(my spot on Sabrina's website - Birthing Empowerment and Doula Services)
I know everyone who has a natural birth says the same thing, but this experience gave me THE MOST empowering feeling I've ever felt in my life. It's sort of like beating on your chest, "I am woman, hear me roar!" kind of feeling. If I can do this, I can do anything. And God help anyone who tries to stand in my way because after this, I'm GOING TO do whatever it is I want to do because I CAN. And then after a bit of a struggle with nursing Wyatt in the beginning and the help I got with his latch from one amazing lactation consultant at the hospital along with Sabrina's help and encouragement as my peer counselor, I successfully breastfed him until he was 10 months old (and only stopped because of becoming pregnant and getting some pretty insane nipple soreness just from being pregnant as well as Wyatt sort of losing interest because the taste can change to sort of salty which they don't like). This experience made me realize my calling. I knew after all of this that no matter what it took, I needed to find a way to one day help women have the same amazing, beautiful, empowering experience that I had with natural birth as well as breastfeeding. My dream is to one day become a lactation consultant myself as well as a birth doula. There's not a thing in the world that would make me happier in life than to achieve this dream.
But how would I get there? Well as some of you may know, I tried to get a job with the WIC department as a peer counselor. After MONTHS of keeping in contact with the director and a few interviews, they went with someone else (and only because she was breastfeeding TWO children which means nothing). I was devastated. After I dried my tears (for the most part) I called up Sabrina. She was my peer counselor while I nursed both Carter and Wyatt. I also knew she was a doula. I don't know what compelled me to call her since we didn't really have a personal relationship other than her help with my breastfeeding but I knew that she was doing everything that I wanted to do in life and I needed help and I needed to know how else I could make this happen. I told her everything that happened with WIC and how upset I was (and then of course broke down crying again). She comforted me and reassured me that my dreams were NOT over. That this was a bump in the road and that on her journey to achieve her dreams, she had door after door slammed in her face but she kept going. As it turns out, if I would've told Sabrina I was interested, she could've helped me get the job and would've given me a great reference. Unfortunately, even after she called to talk to the director, it was too late because they had already hired the new girl.
But Sabrina assured me it wasn't over. She was willing to give me help along this path because she knew it was hard to find the resources you needed to complete the training and licensing for these things. Basically, she would be my mentor. I felt SO thankful! I couldn't believe someone would take me under their wing like this! And though it took a while because we both got a little busy and caught up with life in general (and then I got pregnant which I was sure would be a deal breaker and she'd tell me I had to wait until I had the baby but she didn't and there's still so much I can do in the meantime!), we finally got together this past week to begin a plan of action. She gave me a big book of hers to help my training, a place where I can begin to get some training online (that she may even try to help fund for me as my mentor, WOW!), and she's having me start calling her doula and placenta encapsulation moms postpartum to help them with any breastfeeding questions they may have. So while she helps me get my training, I'm helping take a little bit off of her and helping her grow her business. It's a win-win for both of us. She's going to start training towards midwifery soon and her dream is to have her own practice and I hope to one day be able to assist her and maybe be a doula working within her practice that she can recommend to her moms and I can work along side her. I know everyone always says everything happens for a reason, but I never really felt that until now. Now Sabrina has the freedom to train me the way she sees fit and mold me to work with her the way she works. Maybe if I had gone through WIC, I wouldn't have had that same outcome or wouldn't have such freedom to work with her the way I can now.
Tonight I made my first call to a mom who just had her baby on Friday. I was SO nervous and about to throw up in my mouth but I made it through. I got an answering machine but hey, it was still practice! Afterwards I was so pumped to call anyone and everyone I could help but not quite time for that yet (in due time, young grasshopper). I should be making more calls this week and introducing myself to more and more moms that she works with in her business and getting more and more experience which I'll need to one day be certified anyway. Sabrina also added me to her website under her "birthing services" and put a photo of me with the boys up and a little blub about me (she will soon add my bio that I wrote, as well). I felt so proud to see myself on her website. It was just another moment of excitement to add to how thrilled I am to be working toward the true career of my dreams. I may have had a lot of thoughts about what I wanted to do with my life. I may have even attempted to do something I thought I wanted to do and realized that while it was interesting to me, it wasn't my true passion. I know that this is my calling. I know that I am meant to do this. And regardless of all the bumps in the road or doors I may have slammed in my face or people that try to knock me down or stand in my way along my path, I know that I have to get through and make this happen. I guess this feeling and desire I have to do this it's almost as natural as childbirth - the way it was truly meant to be all along. ;)
(my spot on Sabrina's website - Birthing Empowerment and Doula Services)
